In response to your comments received about the slipping productivity, axing the tax, realigning of our world position, P-3 projects, time is money, and other columns where I have sugar-coated the pills needed to cure our ills with a little humour, herewith is the plain truth, the unvarnished solutions to our current (according to our politicians, sociologists, economists, teachers, and preachers).
Some of the problems I discussed were: affordable housing; taxes; cost-of-living; homelessness; health, drugs, and dental costs; lawlessness and the catch & release justice system; education; foreign workers; immigration; foreign interference in elections; car thefts of luxury vehicles; equalization payments; the redistribution of wealth; NATO obligations; the RCMP; the uncontrolled growth of the civil service; the Panama Papers; and Justin Trudeau.
Wait, wait – I’m far from finished. We need to break our columns into paragraphs so readers can follow along without mental exhaustion. I said that we needed to address the changing environment; carbon capture and sequestering; viruses and vaccinations; breakfast in schools for hungry kids; daycare for parents who cannot afford kids; in vitro fertilization and MAID; opioids; Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan, the Texas border and a hundred other war-torn places; inter-provincial trade; Bank of Canada interest rates; guns; the extirpation of our fellow creatures; the residential schools and scoop; pipelines; China, Russia, and the United States; sudden shortage of chocolate; forest fires and floods; insurance costs; protectionism (see marketing boards); electricity (see wind turbines, gas plants, and nukes); restaurant tipping; drinking water; self-checkouts; and Donald Trump.
Wait. There are still more problems that a commentator of the common weal must think about and offer ideas for solutions: renaming public buildings and removing offensive statues; NIMBY four-plexes; roads in green belts; biting fur babies; pronouns and LGBTQ2S+; gun control; tar sands; corruption; climate change; facial hair; single-use plastics; the Mafiosi; cellphones in school; refugee camps; ER wait times; Casinos; the Maples Leafs; misinformation and hackers; racism; UFOs; AI; broken election promises; Boeing; drinking water; pigeon infestations; genetically modified foods; guaranteed wage; sex; Socrates; the uncertainty principle; and Justin Trudeau.
Take a breath. There are local as well as national and international issues that a commentator can muse over although it is difficult to keep a tongue in cheek sometimes. There is the obsession with hockey; the keeping of urban chickens; council protocols for presentations; the school that cannot be named; budgeting 101; downtown renewal version 5; The Conservation Authority; new arenas; old arenas; buses that are taxis; the Northlander; junk (art Noveau Gauche) on Cassells Street; the Food Bank; increasing the number of wards from one to five; and Vic Fedeli.
One can see there is a myriad of things a writer can tackle or at least bring to the public's attention for consideration or solutions. Maybe it is too much for us to handle – all these problems – most of which we have brought down upon our own heads. One might assign blame on our genetics, and our inborn need to reproduce, but the solution, although now too late to apply, is that there are simply too many of us. Let us say, for argument’s sake, that there were only about a quarter of the number of us – two billion people – spread out around the world. Playing nicely amongst ourselves, how many of the issues above would or could disappear?
I admit we (society) did try to set some rules, regulations, and protocols about getting along with each other, thinking that common sense might help. There were at first the religious dictums, scripts with many good ideas, but not easy to enforce. Enforcers were a problem. Philosophers tried to help. The lawyers pitched in their two cents worth with the Magna Carta, Common Laws, Geneva Conventions, Bills of Rights, Charters, Treaties galore, alliances, promises, and vows. We even tried punishing people by incarceration and pillory or fining them for mistakes, misdemeanours, infractions, and felonies. You can see how this is working. Maybe if we had more space per person we wouldn’t pollute so much, consume so much, infringe on our neighbours and other creatures, and, and, and . . .
You can see how your humble servant has so many things to think about on the above partial list; finding solutions that appease or encourage others to ponder upon; offering suggestions that do not impinge on rights or even feelings, that using a little sugar coating in the form of humour is required.
On the other hand, so to speak, we may be only here for a short time and wish to make it a good time. That may preclude your thinking about, even worrying about, the list. "Live, Love, and Laugh" is a nice homily and indeed a guide for this experience we have called life. Maybe adding to that, "Do no harm," and "Leave the place better than you found it," might be a good thought.
In the meantime, did you hear the one about the Bishop, a Rabbi, and the Pope who walked into the Frog & Thistle bar in Dublin on St Patrick’s Day? Sorry, but that story has far too many politically incorrect sides to it that it cannot be retold.
Just apologizing.
