I was trying to think of any good reason why I would want to exchange my Canadian citizenship, my Canadian way of life, my Canadian heritage, and my Canadian values for Donald’s American 51st State values.
Do I want to exchange our health care system, which we like to complain about, for one that I could now not qualify for because any reasonable insurance company’s benefits, even Medicaid, precludes my preconditions? Do I really want to exchange my colourful Canadian currency for that pale paper that proclaims In God We Trust when I am very uncertain about there even being said god?
I suppose we will have to take our secularism into the closet. Whoops, the closet is full of pride people who are, you know. . . off the books in America.
Do I want to exchange our bilingual anthem for that Bombs Bursting in Air tribute to war? I do sort of like that red maple leaf, although I have nothing against stars and stripes in their proper place. Lately, seeing that American flag flying on a pole next to ours is almost as distasteful as the flags commenting sexually on the Justin.
I suppose the Donald has already calculated that he will give us 50 cents on the dollar when we exchange our Canadian coins for greenbacks. No more Loonies or Toonies? Eight will get you five that he and the Elon have already bought into the futures market for our steel and aluminum along with any other rare minerals whose names they can pronounce. Elon needs them for his cars, even the ones he makes in China. He may close that Chinese plant and move it to Canada where the new minimum wage in the 51st state will make those of us who worked at McD’s cringe.
I was momentarily distracted when I learned that Himself had torn up the ban on plastic straws allowing us to do away with those paper ones that were prone to collapse, and disintegrate (that was part of the plan) into the environment, but I realized he was doing away with everything that could help protect the environment because global warming was the next thing he was going to abolish like USAID.
Not the Canadian way. Drill, baby, drill.
We would, now being Americans, be supporting the relocation of two million people in Palestine to other countries. This is a good thing because they will have new houses or tents, but not homes, because they have left their livelihoods back in Gaza, and they really won’t want to go back there. Really, they won’t. However, they will be able to visit the new Riviera of the South Med, just like we can now visit Disneyland.
Does the Donald know these are people, not cattle? Of course, Hamas and the IDF have been treating them like cattle for years, but even so.
Now, we must give POTUS some credit for his humanity in treating his friends (birds of a feather) very well, granting them pardons for forgiven sins. And here you thought only priests could forgive sins! They were all railroaded by the Democrats, just as he was.
And speaking of railroads, what is going to happen to our former Canadian rail companies (CNR and CPR) – will they have to pay a tariff on all that rolling steel every time they cross that imaginary line that was drawn by the Brits years ago?
Talking about treaties – will those old British, French, and Canadian treaties with the native peoples be trashed and exchanged for American versions? Good luck with the traditional land acknowledgments – you can see what Americans think of that in Palestine. We’ll just move you over here, away from those rare earth minerals. You will love it, you really will.
Here in Ontario, we are going to the polls on the 27th to vote either Republican or Democrat. Get used to it. Whoops, make that Red or Blue. It will not matter much if we are annexed except that Duggy is getting under the Donald’s skin a little with the hat thing. No pardon for him, unless he wants to give Don his Spa membership. That would be beautiful. The Trump Spa on Lake Melania.
So, no, I don’t want to exchange anything with our former friends south of that imaginary line on the map – you know – the ones living north of the Gulf of America.
Wait, wait. I misspoke above saying that the USA thought those people in Palestine were cattle. POTUS thinks they are sheep – sort of like us – sheep in parkas. But just you wait Mr. POTUS – when that border is gone, we all millions of us are going to Florida next winter. And we are bringing our golf clubs!
Just saying.
