I bought a Leafs fan on Ebay

Ebay is an interesting place to visit. Over the years I’ve purchased everything from professional TV camera’s to autographed pictures of players like former Centennial goaltender Alex Auld.

But earlier this week a good friend of mine sent me a link to an ebay auction that was much different than any other I had seen before.

A leafs hockey fan selling himself on Ebay.

“I HAVE HAD ENOUGH,” it states in all caps in the item description area of this unique auction.

“I have never seen the Stanley Cup come to Toronto (unless it is in the Hall of Fame) and the future looks just as bleak!! I can take losing (and actually cheer for it) if I think that it may benefit the team in the future. WELL with no first or second round pick in 2010 and no 2011 first round pick (yes you are welcome Boston) and VERY little on the way of prospects in system...it is time for me to bail.”

To avoid any backlash from Leafs Nation, we will now refer to our “Leafs Fan” as Lee from Keswick.

*A warning, the following paragraph may be extremely offensive to some Leafs faithful.

“So I am putting my allegiance up for the highest bidder, just like the overpaid, under producing Leafs free agents.” Lee from Keswick continues to state in his auction description.

“I will remove all Leaf Memorabilia from my home and replace it with the team of choice of the winning bidder. I will root for my ‘new team’ whenever they are on TV. I will argue with the guys at work that my new team is the best, no matter how bad/good they are (this one is easy, remember I was a Leaf fan). The best part for me is now I can laugh at the Maple Laughs.

“Any money raised will be given to the Southlake Regional Cancer Center in Newmarket. PLEASE SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY LOL!!! No returns!! I will not go back to the Leafs!!”

Well, I found “Lee from Keswick’s” plight very intriguing. At the time, the bid was only at $15.00 and the money was going to a good cause – aside from potentially taking a Leafs fans out of his misery.

So I elected to get into the bidding. But I thought to myself – what team should I choose if I win this auction? Should I transform this beleaguered Leafs fan into a Coyote fan? After all, they ALMOST moved that franchise to Southern Ontario anyhow. Or, do I make this difficult by forcing him to become a Senators - or even worse – a Habs fan?

But since I was doing the buying, I really thought it was best for him to become a Dallas Stars fan – team I’ve rooted for since the early 80’s when the club was still based in Minnesota.

So as I was watching over this auction in its final hour online, I saw the cost increase but at around 9 p.m. on Monday night the auction ended at $25.00 (some question is a Leafs fan even worth that much?) and I was the high bidder.

I paid for my item swiftly and just as quick I laid out the new rules for him as a Stars fan. Rule #1. “Lee the Stars fan” must now refer to Mike Modano and Steve Ott as “Modo” and “Otter.” Rule #2. “Lee the Stars fan” must refer to Brett Hull’s Stanley Cup winning goal with his foot in the crease as a “hockey move."

Pretty simple rules and it didn’t take long for “Lee the Stars fan” to show his support for the Stars. He immediately told me that he had purchased a game used Dallas Stars jersey worn by Stu Barnes.

“Whew...I was REALLY hoping it wasn't going to be Montreal,” Lee the Stars fan said in an email.

“Well Dallas is off to a good start and I have Brad Richards in my pool! Okay Turco lets ramp her up I am on board!”

So thankfully this frustrating chapter of his life as a Leafs fan has come to a close as he opens a new chapter looking forward to a bright Dallas Stars future on the horizon as well as a past that includes a Stanley Cup championship that – unlike the leafs – was won after color television was invented.

Photo of a Stu Barnes jersey like the one purchased by new Stars fan "Lee from Keswick."