It was a very different Super Bowl Sunday for a group of 18 year old friends who grew up together in North Bay.
A special someone was not there to laugh and enjoy the game.
The person was Nate Sinclair.
On April 13, he celebrated his 18th birthday. He had the world in front of him. He was an honour student in school, a gifted athlete who was looking forward to using his new golf membership in the summer, and planning a trip to Europe during a gap year after graduating from high school.
However, only two days later things went south in a single day and Nate chose a permanent response to a temporary problem. Suicide.
To honour Nate and his love for sports including football, a group of his close friends gathered with Nate's parents to watch the game.
"It was definitely a quieter experience without Nate at the Super Bowl," admitted longtime friend Gavin Thibodeau.
"There was an absence of random sports knowledge and friendly banter. It was nice to be there with his parents for an event that has meant, and still means so much to them:"
Nick Paleczny says football connected their friendship group.
"Many of our friends, including Nate's dad, all shared a deep love for the game," said Paleczny.
"Nate and I grew up playing football together, and I can still remember tossing the football in my yard every morning before walking to school. Sitting together and watching the Super Bowl brought back those special memories, reminding me of the bond we shared. More than that, the night was a reflection of the strong community Nate helped create, and the laughter we shared was a small but powerful way to cope with our loss."
No signs
The real puzzling part of this tragedy is no one really knew that Nate was struggling. It is still something many of his close friends are trying to cope with more than 10 months later.
Macey Smith has known Nate since they were in kindergarten at Vincent Massey.
"I knew Nate for 15 years, and I had absolutely no idea he was suffering," she said.
"The unpredictability of it made it even harder to process. His story is a powerful reminder of the importance of mental health and the need to constantly check in on those we love."
See related: Northern Ontario youth suicide rate four times higher than provincial average
Lucas Nashkawa was a close friend who competed on multiple sports teams with Nate including soccer, hockey, football, and powerlifting.
He too did not see this coming with his close friend.
"There are times where I’m able to think about him and be able to reflect and be happy at all the good times," said Nashkawa.
"But often it comes with a lot of sadness and even guilt and regret. Not knowing that your friend could be fighting these battles by himself and then losing him, it makes you feel like you should have known and be able to do something. We have a very tight-knit group of friends and Nate was such a huge part. I’ve definitely felt the shift in our friend group without him."
Heath Bradley admits he has had his own personal struggles with mental health.
He remembers Nate as a quiet guy who would always laugh at the dumbest of jokes.
"There were no signs, he was quiet, but that's who he was, he was quiet since he was eight years old playing hockey," admits Bradley, who plays hockey with the Powassan Voodoos of the NOJHL.
"They say it is who you don't expect," said Bradley.
"With Nate, I would have never expected it. So you hear about it but it is much different when it happens to you."
Bradley is very open to talking about mental health and his relationship with Nate. He believes being open about his own personal struggles really helped.
"They always say talking helps, and it's true," said Bradley, whose twin brother Grayson was also a close friend of Nate's.
"I understand what he went through to a certain extent, of course, I was very open about my struggles. I found it very hard because he did not speak to anyone, no one knew as he struggled by himself and I think that just makes me feel more for him because what he was going through he was all by himself. I wish he would have spoken up to anyone whether it was me or anyone, just so we could have one more day."
Maddie Linkie, who has known Nate since middle school in 2018, believes you never fully recover from losing a friend to suicide, but you grow around the new feeling of loss.
"My message to someone who has lost someone is to take as much time as you need to heal because it’s a very unique kind of pain," she said.
Push-up Challenge
To help get through it, many of Nate's friends are taking part in the Push-Up Challenge which starts today.
It is a fitness-based mental health initiative held in over 300 communities across Canada including here in North Bay.
This year, participants are asked to complete 2,000 push-ups, representing the estimated 2,000 lives lost to suicide each day worldwide.
Those wanting to support the cause with proceeds to the North Bay CMHA can do so at Sinclair Push Up Challenge.