Coulier's act a real gas

Dave Coulier knows how to get a lot of mileage from his stand-up comedy routine: back-load it with gas jokes.

Coulier, best known as Uncle Joey in the long-running ABC sitcom Full House, broke up a half-full Capitol Centre Saturday night, talking about breaking wind.

Using his microphone to provide the appropriate sound effects, Coulier devoted the last 20 minutes of the evening to flatulence humour.

His 73-year-old father was the butt of most of the mirth.

"He believes he's earned the right to fart anywhere at anytime because, after all, he's 73," Coulier said.

Particularly humorous was an anecdote about going to Wal-Mart with his father and brother.

"We're in the check-out line when my father lets out a long and loud one," Coulier said.

"My brother falls to the floor laughing and my dad just stands there stoically. Meanwhile everyone else is staring at me!"

There's no life situation that doesn't involve, er, tooting, at one point or another, Coulier said.

Relationships, for example.

"You're just waiting for that first fart, to get it out of the way, and once it comes you cross that threshold and move on," Coulier said.

Or how about trying to hold one in on that first date, Coulier said, describing the consequences of not being able to release trapped gas.

When he wasn't talking about...you know...Coulier was displaying his mastery of celebrity and cartoon voices.

Ozzy Osborne and Michael Jackson were spot-on.

But the most creative and hilarious impersonation came when Coulier mimicked Joe Pesci as a six-year-old in Good Fellas grade school.

On the cartoon front, Coulier offered a nice little voice montage involving Rocky and Bullwinkle, Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig.

Coulier offered some travel tips to people who don't know how to speak the language of the country they're going to.

Just do what he does, Coulier said, and blurt out a non-sensical English sentence with whatever accent is required.

Works for me.

No, Coulier's appearance in North Bay wasn't a live episode of Full House.

Still it was so funny I'm surprised no one in the audience lost control and...well...you know....