If you did not watch the TV Hollywood Oscars you would have missed ‘the Slap Heard Around the World’.
That is simply more Hollywood hype, but it did liven up the show and had a few people in the audience sitting on the edge of their seats. If Will Smith could slap Chris Rock might someone who came in second for an Oscar run onto the stage and smack you for winning?
What Chris said was in terrible taste and inappropriate. But Smith could have just gone on stage, taken the microphone, and explained to the audience about his wife’s health issue. And then slapped Chris. Or in a more manly manner, invited the comedian to put up his dukes, NHL style, and have at it, Queensbury rules be darned.
The Oscars’ stage director missed an opportunity to end the evening with a grand finale by not sending a stage hand out to give Will a gentle slap to end his blubbering insincere acceptance speech. No Oscar nomination for that speech or acting.
Nonetheless, we can never condone any violence against another person. Shouting harsh words or giving a driver the finger for stupid driving is as far as it ought to go in our civilized world. No guns, knives, brass knuckles, hockey sticks, fisticuffs, or even slaps. However, there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a little whack on the cheek for doing something dumb or saying something stupid.
My third cousin twice removed sister-in-law’s grandfather had a habit from the old country where he would slap his forehead and say ‘Momma Mia!” whenever he did something wrong. From my research, it was an expression of exasperation or an instinctive reaction to avoid his mother from giving him a thumb whack for his misadventure.
What we could do now is give ourselves a Will Smith Slap whenever we need it. Like if you spill some red wine on the white rug, you could say ‘sorry about that’ and administer yourself a Will Smith to show how sincere you are to your hostess.
Uncle Joe Biden could have given himself a Will Smith when he misspoke about removing Putin from office. But be careful Joe, just give yourself an age-appropriate slap.
Boris Johnson, the British PM, could have given himself a public Will Smith when the reporters found out he had attended that Covid party. And another Will Smith for his haircut or lack thereof.
Justin needs several public Will Smiths going all the way back to Lavalin, the WE mess, the GG fiasco, the Christmas junket, broken promises, and cuddling up to Jagmeet. There is likely more but maybe he could just do a Will Smith a week until his face is sore.
Our City councillors and mayor could do a Will Smith for not showing up at the recent Cassellholme sod-turning. Really? Heaven knows there should be a lot of Will Smithing in West Nipissing at their council meetings or lack thereof.
Do not mistake all the self-congratulatory pats on the shoulders by the Ontario politicians as missed Will Smiths. That will come after June 2nd. And sometime this summer we might even see the Pope and some of his minions do a Will Smith. A ‘mea culpa’ with a Will Smith would be quite something to see.
When blackfly season starts a month from now you may have to check with your companion as to whether that was a Will Smith or a blackfly slap. Do not just assume they did something dumb again.
Oh, and those two soft taps on the cheek by your beloved are a sign of endearment, not a Will Smith. Just saying.
