Ask for What You Need

I’ll bet your needs have changed. Do you ask for what you need to support you? As I listen to business owners, managers and team members from all over the province and beyond, what is consistent is that everyone’s world has shifted into a different reality. Our needs have changed.

Most are home with their families or alone, some are working more than ever. Fear resounds from every news media; COVID this and COVID that…we can’t escape the hype online or offline. Fear breeds conflict.

What most people don’t know is how to ask for what they need. This is not a new deficiency. It’s old, and it stems from being reactive, versus being responsive.

Asking for what you need can be humbling, and yet you can co-create your best results with this humility. Asking is an invitation. Telling someone to do something is authoritarian. You won’t have authority over other people’s behavior; you can however influence them with kind words.

Here are some examples:

• You feel your neighbor should be staying home. Ask “Is there something I can do to help you stay home?”
• Your boss hasn’t been the best leader in this new ‘work from home’ team approach. Ask “Can we discuss my duties and responsibilities so that I can be clear on your expectations?”
• Your business negotiation presents an offer that is much less than market value. Ask “Can you help me understand why your offer is so much lower than market value?”
• You are taking this ‘unscheduled downtime’ to rejuvenate, despite other’s in your industry who are working hard to keep things afloat, own it and ask “Can you check back with me in a week or two? I’m just taking a break to reflect and re-calibrate.”
• You need more (fill in the blank) … Ask the person you need more from, “I need more (blank), and I wonder if you can help me by (be specific with what you need).”

Once you ask good questions, listen with an open mind for the answers. You can’t solve a problem that you don’t understand. When people are given a voice, a chance to be heard and understood, their ‘stance’ can easily turn into a ‘dance’ where collaboration is possible.

Harvard Business Review will confirm that when you ask for what you want kindly and politely, the results are astounding. Rather than pointing the blame or shaming people for what they’re not doing, ask people for what you want or need.

If you can’t find your way, call Penny Tremblay because the high cost of conflict is avoidable, and profits can be used for better things.

Stay apart, but stay connected,

Penny

p.s. Training and Conflict Resolution services are available virtually for those who want that option during these times of physical distancing.